Don’t Slouch, My Mother Said, And 13 Other Best Practices

 

“When I cannot see you,
I'm not sure what you mean.
No moves, no expressions,
No message I glean.”

from See What I’m Saying by Brian Rouley

 

“Body language is a mysterious, unspoken way that people unconsciously communicate what is really on their minds. The importance of body language in sales lies in the fact that many buyers are either unsure of, or reluctant to openly communicate their intentions. So, you must rely on their body language to tell you what their words do not say.” (Tim Conner)

And that is true, whether in a live meeting or a video call.

What makes reading body language so challenging in sales is that it must be taken in the context of (1) the situation, (2) the prior relationship you have with the person, as well as (3) the person’s behavioral style. And all three tend to be different for every conversation, and largely unknown in many situations involving first calls or transactional selling.

And that is true, whether in a live meeting or a video call.

When it comes to selling via video calls, while the fundamentals about body language are the same, the specifics change. How many video calls have you been on where there was something in the screen presence of the other person that detracted from their message? Any one of those detractors takes away from the message when 93% of our communication is non-verbal:

Technical issues, bad sound quality, bad lighting, distracting background, a person/dog/cat walking in, doorbell ringing, cell phone buzzing, …

Further, towards the end of this article, I will share more from Tim Conner on specific and common types of behavior that you should watch for to provide clues to what is on your customer’s mind. Since body language works both ways, here are some best practices you can follow to put your best foot forward:

1. Dress for success

Taking the time to look and feel your best can definitely boost your confidence and help you make a positive impression on your attendees. Many studies have found a connection between how we look and how we’re perceived. This is a cognitive bias known as the “halo effect,” which suggests that people who look good tend to also be perceived as having other positive qualities.

2. Use hand gestures

People who use their hands are seen as more warm, agreeable, and energetic compared to those who remain still or have robotic hand gestures.

3. Sit back from the camera so the client can actually see your gestures…

Hand gestures can help you boost your charisma while you’re on a call. You can wave hello and goodbye to meeting attendees, use explanatory gestures while you’re speaking, or simply rest them in your lap to show that you’re actively listening.

4. … and don’t use sudden gestures 

They pull focus away from you as everyone looks to see what is causing the commotion. Don’t rock on your chair, don’t play with rubber bands, don’t gesture wildly to someone off camera to bring you coffee. If you move quickly, the image gets jumpy or blurry for a moment. Move slightly slower to be on the safe side.

5. Look into the camera!

Look at the lens! One of the biggest mistakes people make on video calls is that they look at themselves and not at the camera. While it can be a little tricky over video, looking directly into your camera will give the impression you are making eye contact with the people you are meeting. This helps to build trust and rapport, which, in turn, strengthens your relationships with them.

6. Ensure even lighting

Check your room’s lighting to ensure you’re evenly and well-lit. And if you are wearing glasses like I do make sure the reflections are minimal (I have found it impossible to eliminate them altogether.)

7. Don’t look down

While most of us wouldn’t look at our phones or openly check our email during an in-person work meeting, it’s a little easier to succumb to these distractions when you’re working remotely. Don’t look around the room too much and use signals like nodding or smiling or a hand gesture to show the speaker that you’re interested and engaged in what they’re saying.

8. Sit straight to project energy

Don’t slouch! It can be tempting to take a call from the couch when you’re working from home, but it can make you appear uninterested and lazy on a video call. On the other hand, good posture signals to your meeting attendees that you’re energized and ready to be an active participant. 

Sit up straight, put both feet on the floor, and lean forward slightly to the camera to show that you’re fully present. It also serves as a physical reminder to your brain that it’s time to listen and participate. 

9. Calm your nerves by avoiding face-touching

Research found that nervous people tend to comfort themselves by engaging in face-touching behaviors like smoothing their eyebrows, tugging at their earlobes, itching their nose, or chewing on their lower lip. Convey that you are calm, cool, and collected by avoiding touching your face.

10. Facial Expression

On a video call, the audience is largely limited to only hand gestures and facial expressions to give them cues about what you’re thinking and what you’re meaning. Hence, most importantly, don’t forget the power of a genuine smile.

11. Camera Positioning

Framing yourself too close might make you appear aggressive and cut off your hand gestures. The ideal framing of your body on the screen does include the torso. Angle also matters. Make sure you are in line with the camera, neither looking up nor looking down at it.

12. Background

Your bedroom or Golden Gate Bridge? The key is to avoid that the background becomes a distraction. If your setup does not allow it, use a virtual one.

13. And then …do not obsess over your appearance

There is such a thing as being too focused on how you’re being perceived. Aim to be self-aware instead of self-conscious. And the more you can place your attention on the conversation itself, the more your body language will naturally reflect positive emotions which will naturally draw the other person to feel comfortable with you.

 

Now, more from Tim Conner as it applies to video conferencing:

Here are a few standard, well-known descriptions of certain types of behavior that you should watch for to provide clues to what is on your customer’s mind:

1. Openness

·       Open hands

·       Moving closer

·       Leaning forward

·       Arms gently crossing lower body

2. Enthusiasm

·       Small upper or inward smile

·       Erect body stance

·       Hands open, arms extended, eyes wide and alert

·       Lively and bouncy voice, well-modulated

3. Defensiveness

·       Rigid body

·       Arms crossed tightly

·       Minimal eye contact

·       Pursed lips

·       Head down with chin depressed toward chest

·       Fists clenched

·       Fingers clenching crossed arms

·       Leaning back in chair

4. Anger

·       Body rigid

·       Fists clenched

·       Lips closed and held in a tight thin line

·       Continued eye contact with dilation of pupils

·       Squinting of eyes

·       Shallow breathing

5. Readiness

·       Leaning forward

·       Hand placed mid-thigh

·       Relaxed, but alive facially

6. Evaluating

·       Slightly tilted head

·       Sitting on front portion of chair with upper torso forward

·       Hand-to-cheek gesture

·       Stroking chin or pulling beard

7. Nervousness

·       Clearing throat

·       Hand-to-mouth movements

·       Covering mouth when speaking

·       Tugging at ear

·       Darting eyes

·       Twitching lips or face

·       Mouth slightly open

·       Playing with objects or fidgeting

·       Tapping fingers

·       Whistling

8. Suspicion/secrecy

·       Failing to make eye contact or resisting your glances

·       Glancing sideways at you

·       Rubbing or touching nose

·       Squinting or peering over glasses

9. Rejection/doubt

·       Touching and rubbing nose

·       Squinting or rubbing eyes

·       Arms crossed

·       Body withdrawn

·       Throat-clearing

·       Hand-rubbing or ear-tugging

·       Raising eyebrow

10. Confidence/authority

·       Steepling — the higher the hands, the greater the confidence

·       Leaning back with hands laced behind head

·       Proud, erect body stance with chin forward

·       Continuous eye contact with little blinking

11. Needing reassurance

·       Pinching the fleshy part of hands

·       Gently rubbing or caressing some personal object like a ring or watch

·       Biting fingernails or examining cuticles

12. Frustration

·       Tightly clenched hands or shaking fists

·       Hand wringing, rubbing back of neck

·       Controlled short breathing

·       Blind staring

·       Running hands through hair

13. Boredom/indifference

·       Head in hand

·       Drooping eyelids

·       Relaxed posture, slouching

·       Tapping fingers

·       Blank stares or little eye contact

·       Doodling

·       Slack lips

14. Acceptance

·       Moving closer to the other person

·       Spreading hands held to chest

Remember: body language by itself only tells part of the story. You must blend it with the psychological level and behavioral style, and then attempt to get a better prospect reading.

And changes in body language during a meeting or presentation generally communicate more than the natural mannerisms of each person.

 

__________________

Tim Conner - The Vocabulary of Body Language

 Photo by Anne Gosewehr