Avoid This Killer Phrase
“In My Opinion …”
“I would be less than I am, if I didn't say what I have to. If I didn't express my feelings and thoughts, my life would be but like a leaf falling from a tree and blown out of sight by the wind.”
from Betty Mae Eaton
Reading Devin Mercier's article on six phrases managers need to stop using in team meetings, one phrase, in particular, struck a chord with me: “In my opinion…”
He writes, "when using this phrase, managers are simply trading one opinion for another. While it’s definitely important for managers to have a say in the actions of their team and to take a stance on important workplace issues, what managers say carries weight, and should therefore be backed with evidence.”
Backing it with evidence is very important. Data from the MIT Sloan School of Management determined that companies that utilized data-driven decision-making saw a 6% increase in productivity compared to those organizations that did not.
As a leader, though, stating an opinion also carries grave dangers! It can instantly kill the discussion in a team meeting, it can sway a groups’ opinion towards yours … and away from the team consensus, and make your off-hand idea a priority.
I vividly remember a number of situations where almost immediately after voicing statements that started with “In my opinion…” or “I think…” I felt deep regret and wished I had never spoken. In all of those instances, emotions got the better of me. The topics were near and dear to my heart, and I felt the discussion was going too far off (MY) track.
A leaders' opinion matters in more ways than one. It is not only the content your share, but more importantly, it is YOUR content. Whether intended this way or not, the boss' opinion always weighs more.
So how can you avoid those negative side effects? Claire Lew suggests a number of ways, two of which I find two most relevant and practical:
- Ask everyone to explain their thought process, not tell you their opinion: This rule obviously applies to the leader well. And if executed well, it will keep those with only an opinion at bay while providing everyone with food for thought and allow the team to better achieve consensus.
- Give someone less experienced a chance to speak first: In fact, listen to the discussion, ask clarifying questions, encourage every team member to contribute, and hold back your own opinion as long as possible. When it becomes awkward to do so, confirm everything you heard and agree with, followed by those pieces (if they exist at this point) where your opinion differs and where changing the consensus reached so far truly betters the outcome.
Listen, ask, encourage before speaking. This is my magic formula to avoid the regrets I have felt at times before.
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Devin Mercier – 6 phrases managers need to stop using in team meetings
Claire Lew – To be a good manager: 8 ways to avoid your opinion swaying your team too much
MIT Sloan School of Management
Photo by Anne Gosewehr